Graham’s Ramblings

My wife’s family is from Akron. I’m convinced it’s actually the hellmouth. There’s crime and weirdness everywhere, but Akron always seems to take it one step beyond.

Everywhere has jealous husbands who kill their wives’ lovers. Only in Akron would he chase the victim through the restaurant where he worked, wearing a ninja outfit, scalp him in the alley behind the restaurant, and get caught with the scalp hanging from his rear view mirror.

Everywhere has people who rob convenience stores. Only in Akron would someone rob a convenience store with a cup of gas and a lighter as their weapon, go on to do this many more times successfully, and then finally get caught by raising a gas station attendant’s suspicions by showing up with a mason jar and trying to buy a quarter’s worth of gas.

Just today, a woman was denied parole in the murder of her cousin, who she lured to a house on the request of a friend who proceeded to kill him over a shared attraction to a stripper, then behead him, drive the corpse to West Virginia and set it on fire.

It’s just that kind of town.